just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
