So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
