Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
