i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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