'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
