I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
