Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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