did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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