We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
