We're like a lot better than the average bears
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
