Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
