Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
