The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
