Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
