just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
