She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
