i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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