she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
