I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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