I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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