I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
