Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just had sex on a roof
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize