And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
