Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
