i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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