so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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