That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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