After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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