my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
