I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
