with your own penis?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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