You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am naked and annoyed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
