Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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