I got chris browned last night
just come out here and I will go home with you...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize