i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You can't special order awesome
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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