What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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