why didn't you poke me back
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
