i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
