How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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