Your tits are I can't wait for
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
