Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
