no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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