Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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