either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
there is glitter all over my balls
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
