Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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