just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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