I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
