oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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