OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
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