I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
