she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
