I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
