to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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