I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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