North Korea, Best Korea!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
