Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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