How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
